Change of Plans

Awakened from a peaceful sleep with a phone call at the break of dawn...and for the first time ever, I was irritated with texting.  A misunderstood text from yesterday changed today in a major way.  I laid there and prayed.

Yesterday ended the same way.  I wanted to write but, instead - I read - something to take my mind off of my own life for a while.  It's been a few years since I've read fiction.  When I experienced insatiable hunger and thirst for God's Word, I committed to take a break from fiction.  Picking up where I left off, I was happy to find that a certain little girl has grown with me - a character in some good novels, written by a wonderful Christian author, Karen Kingsbury.  When I left off, she had been saved from a near drowning, but was in a wheelchair - not able to do much.  Now, healing has manifested even more and she is out of the wheelchair, eating, and doing normal things - only a little slower.  I praise God - for this character is a real child - written into the fiction novel.

Thank You, my faithful, faithful God!  I ask for complete healing to manifest in her body - with every one of her organs functioning perfectly, how You created them to function!  In Jesus' name, amen. 

The novels are really good - true to life - and following the exciting news, came some sad news.  I ended up crying, not only for what I was reading, but for the way I felt in my own heart - the reason I was reading and not writing, like I wanted to.  I fell asleep repenting and thanking God for forgiving me and my sinful ways.

Back to today.  The struggle was on.  I had a plan - and it was interrupted.  So, back and forth I went - trying to figure out how to change things and make them work.  Today affects tomorrow and I have an important deadline to meet - one that comes every year relentlessly - not a source of peace for me.  Let me just make a long story short and say that absolutely nothing I had planned for today went forth - nothing - although, it ended up being a very productive day.  Before the productivity though, there was nonsense.  Nonsense that sucked me right in.  I said what I saw - gave in and let my emotions rule - gave way to fickle feelings - screwed up.  Sigh.  I reacted when I should have responded.  Truthfully, I didn't want to respond - and didn't at first.  It was when I decided to put communication to work that things got all messed up.  It was then that I reacted.  No response at all might have been a wiser choice.  I pray that God gives me grace to respond appropriately from now on - or wisdom when no response at all would be wiser.  I am tired of the endless cycle of disfunction.  When my heart softened and I made an apology, it was accepted begrudgingly at best - so, boom - back to choice.  Though not perfect, at least it was much better than the first one.  Sometimes, one day at a time is too much...  One minute or hour at a time works better in those times.  I am truly thankful that God knows the depths of my heart and loves me the same. 

Good things that came from the change of plans:  I found some things I'd been looking for, spent some time with my daughter and two of my sweet little nanababies, took care of finishing up last week's craft and got everything together for this week's craft (Friday school), printed pics for thank-you cards for my birthday, cooked lunch (saving us all from another sandwich), and I even received help with this week's craft while I cooked dinner - and fed extra mouths, a true blessing to them since their plans got changed as well.  Last, but definitely not least, I spent some very fine quality time with three very special boys this evening.  As we were walking out the door to go to church, one of them had symptoms that prevented us from going.  We had already prayed - so, we stayed.  We were able to have church at home with some pretty interesting material.  I was reminded, and they learned a little something new about quantum physics, relating to faith.

Ah.

Thank You Lord for being with me every moment of today.  I'm still standing...in YOU.

It's kind of cool that the new book
(for me anyway) is titled "Sunrise".

Thanks Linda...more than you know!