Sunday, I'm so glad we went to church! But, by the time Sunday evening rolled around, I found myself asking, "Is today Sunday? Did we go to church today?" What a long, interesting, day it turned out to be. I'm not sure how to write my heart on this one - because so much is involved. I guess I'll just sum it up by saying that some emotional triggers were pulled and some of my insecurities surfaced. I never know how obvious it is when I feel so insecure. Do I hide it well? Does anybody notice? How does it come across? I guess it really doesn't matter in the end. I just want to be free of every insecurity!
The day was full. After church, we came home for lunch and I got a few things done - including cutting all of the boys' hair. Bradley and Braylon chose a buzz and Brenton chose a short cut. Handsome boys!!! Right as we finished up, Andrew and Brittany arrived with Abigail and Alivia. We took care of the girls so they could go on a date. We took them with us to our friends' party for their daughter, Molly - the other special graduation girl. It was nice to visit with so many people that we hardly get to see any more. For years now, it seems like we catch up on graduation weekend, as our kids were almost perfectly stairstepped in age. We really miss our close knit neighborhood. It's been a long 10 years away - although it seems like yesterday - and now all of our kids are grown up and graduated. Well, Darrell and I still have three to raise...
When Andrew and Brittany came back for the girls, I mentioned insecurities - and my awesome son in law (or according to Jan, my son in grace) said, "Insecurities, be gone in Jesus' name!" [God knew how much I needed to hear an authoritative voice - and I was quick to agree.] He surprised himself and asked if he had really said it...lol It's kind of funny, because the first time I ever met him, I was asking myself if I had really said what I said. Our history is that the Holy Spirit freely speaks when we are around each other. That is something special. : )
When Andrew and Brittany came back for the girls, I mentioned insecurities - and my awesome son in law (or according to Jan, my son in grace) said, "Insecurities, be gone in Jesus' name!" [God knew how much I needed to hear an authoritative voice - and I was quick to agree.] He surprised himself and asked if he had really said it...lol It's kind of funny, because the first time I ever met him, I was asking myself if I had really said what I said. Our history is that the Holy Spirit freely speaks when we are around each other. That is something special. : )
I don't even know which blog to put this all in. I opened this one up to write tonight and later thought it might better go in my other one - with so much story and not so much Word. But really, I just needed to write! I've been having a hard time lately - and the devil loves to kick us when we are down. I will NOT stay down. Insecurity knocks and depression looms, but I am not a victim. I am victorious in Christ. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind. I speak to all sick roots inside of me and command them to be rooted out and cast into the sea in Jesus' name! And to the enemy who would like to silence my voice - F.O.R.G.E.T. it! I am royalty, I have destiny, and I will change the world. God's Word burns in my heart like a fire.
If I say, I will not make mention of [the Lord] or speak any more in His name, in my mind and heart it is as if there were a burning fire shut up in my bones. And I am weary of enduring and holding it in; I cannot [contain it any longer]. Jeremiah 20:9 Amp
If I say, I will not make mention of [the Lord] or speak any more in His name, in my mind and heart it is as if there were a burning fire shut up in my bones. And I am weary of enduring and holding it in; I cannot [contain it any longer]. Jeremiah 20:9 Amp
I know you should never take God's Word out of context. But, He put this verse alone on my heart and it brought tears to my eyes when I read it. As I endure rejection and feel all alone, I long for someone to confide in and converse with, and much of the time, I only have God. I can see the evil - I know where it is from. That doesn't heal my heart. I am strong enough to withstand the emotional blows, because I am more than a conqueror in Him who loves me. No weapon formed against me will prosper and every tongue that rises against me in judgment, I will show to be in the wrong. This peace, righteousness, security, and triumph over opposition is my heritage from the Lord. It is the vindication that I obtain from Him and He imparts it to me as my justification - says the Lord! I LOVE God's WORD! My shield of faith quenches every fiery dart of the enemy. I will not go backwards. I will not break my commitment to the Lord.
So, Heavenly Father, I am asking You to fix what needs to be fixed and speed up what needs to speed up. You know what needs to happen and I know only You can do it. All for Your glory and to advance Your Kingdom! In Jesus' name, amen.
So, Heavenly Father, I am asking You to fix what needs to be fixed and speed up what needs to speed up. You know what needs to happen and I know only You can do it. All for Your glory and to advance Your Kingdom! In Jesus' name, amen.
As for Memorial Day...Monday...it was a restful day. Got to talk to my brother for a while - and to Brian. Bradley's friend came to visit. Darrell cooked out - and I didn't have to do everything. This was a first for sure - not just the cook-out part - but, the whole day in general. New memories - and my heart will follow. Thank You Jesus for healing my heart and making my bitter waters sweet. I will keep Your Word in my heart and guard it. May Your wellspring flow freely through me!!!
I am still standing in the Son.
I am also still waiting...and I will continue to serve and worship While I'm Waiting.
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