God's Power and Faithfulness

This is an amazing testimony of the power of God through His Holy Spirit and His faithfulness.

I was on my way to an appointment in Dallas, driving 60 mph in the HOV lane with Bradley, Brenton, and my great niece.  A long, slow palpatation went through my heart - and I said, "OH...thank you Lord that my heart beats with the rhythm of LIFE!"  It was intense.  Following, I got lightheaded - to the point where I knew I needed to pull over.  We were in the one part of the lane that had a shoulder, but the car behind me was following too close for me to slow down and get over before it ended.  I turned the praise cd off and told the kids to pray.  I prayed out loud, alternating with praises to God, magnifying Him and thanking Him for what He has already done and declaring truth over myself.  Though I was calm on the outside, and my words were positive - my mind was in full panic mode.  I turned on my hazard lights - I didn't know what else to do.  I asked the kids if they were praying!  They said they were.  Here is some of what was going on in my thoughts:  [What do I do?  Do I pull over?  Not enough time to slow to a stop; I'll hit the wall.  Do I get out of this lane?  Too much traffic.  Do I call 911?  I have to concentrate and drive.  Do I slow down and stop in the middle of the lane?  The cars behind me are too close.  What happens if I pass out?  Help me God!  The narrow bridge is coming up.  I have kids with me.  This can not be happening - I can not pass out.  We will die.  We can not die - that is NOT an option!  Lord, PLEASE!  Help me!]  Those thoughts mingled with a haze of symptoms and clear stars floating around was deathly scary.  So much was flashing before me.  I was trying desperately to stay focused, keep my eyes open - stay straight in the lane - be smart - think clearly.  All that came out of my mouth was truth - and praises to the Lord.  After the scariest part passed, (before the narrow bridge!) I started praying in the Spirit.  I can not tell this story and leave that part out.  That is what I did for the remainder of the drive to Dallas.  Thoughts continued to come:  [Do I pull over now?  What would I do?  Who would I call?  I feel better, I can make it - and if I stop, we won't make it to Brenton's appointment.  Do I call someone to pray?  I can't - they might freak out and worry.  I'm better - everything is clear - I'm okay, I'm praying, the kids are praying.  God hears our prayers.]  I kept praying in the Spirit and turned the praise cd back on.

When we got to where we were going, I prayed and thanked God for protecting us and getting us there safely.  I then explained to the boys that if anything were to happen, we would need to act responsibly, stay calm, and make sure that Kailyn was well taken care of - as she was the littlest in our charge.  I had no idea what had happened or what would happen when I got out of the car.

After Brenton's appointment, I called to check in with Darrell and asked him and Braylon to say a prayer that we get home safely.  He asked if I was okay and I said yes - glad that he didn't press for details - as I didn't want to explain and cause him to worry - or let the kids hear.  Later, we went to Chiro Spa and I told the doctor what happened.  He did some things to help me and explained that our thoughts and feelings are very real - asking if my wreck had been in the HOV lane, on the highway, etc.  Nope to all of those.  Hmmm?!  He was a little stumped, but assured me that he would help me - that whatever was going on, was very strong.  After he did some minor adjusting on my neck, he leaned in and said, "Now remember, God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and a sound mind.  You keep walking in that!"  I agreed.

Thinking back, when the HOV lane opened in the middle, a truck had come close to sideswiping us and startled me, but he moved back into his lane and I dismissed it.  But, at the end of the opening, it decided to come in ahead of me - and then, another car came in behind him, still in front of me - barely missing the flexible guards as he crossed over.  It did scare me, but it was only for a moment.  That could have been the trigger for what followed.  The other thing is that I've been under quite a bit of stress lately anyway, but this has added so much to our schedule.  I had also just received the news that the other car's insurance company was refusing coverage because the driver was unlicensed.  Fear, stress, and anxiety cause all kinds of problems.  It set my mind at ease when the doctor picked up on the fear - because I had been more focused on the symptoms - wondering if there was something wrong with my heart.  I don't have heart palpatations - but, I used to.  I was told to lower my stress level.  Ha!  I was healed of them years ago in a Wednesday night service at church and only every now and then do they try to flirt - usually when I've been stressed.  However, I've never had one like I did Wednesday.  With the other symptoms, I was really scared.  I told the doctor I never wanted to go through that again and he agreed - it was very dangerous.  I agree.

The devil thought he'd be smart and change things up a bit.  I didn't recognize the spirit of fear until the doctor pointed it out.  Of course I had fear, because of what happened, but the spirit of fear is different than a normal, fearful reaction.  I am relieved he picked up on it as the source and brought it into the light - because darkness can not comprehend the LIGHT!  He did rescan me to check for any areas that are stressed and will treat me accordingly, so I'm covered there.  I feel sure that it was probably a panic attack, the more I've thought about it though.  God has been laying out some pretty awesome and amazing things lately - much bigger than I can even wrap my mind around.  I've known that my weak areas have been being tested - not by God - He knows what I'm made of!  I thank Him and give Him glory for saving my life - and protecting all of us.  I know that I am alive and well today because His Spirit is within me.  It was the Holy Spirit praying through me that prayed us out of those dangerous moments.

The message at church Wednesday night was about the anointing to bounce back up.  The man of God identified with Paul - which for some reason, I do too.  But, when I should have been cheering for excitement over the good news, I was silently crying.  He was speaking to my heart, but for some reason, tears came rather than cheers.  I went and poured my heart out to my mentor afterwards and she encouraged me in the Word.  Here's a nugget that spoke volumes to me:

I have put my words in your mouth
   and covered you with the shadow of my hand—I who set the heavens in place,
   who laid the foundations of the earth,
   and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’

Isaiah 51:16

He put His words in my mouth in the car.  He had us covered with the shadow of His hand.  The enemy may have been trying to take me out, but I am and we are His people - grafted in and loved.  We are His sons and daughters - and no-body and no-thing can pluck us out of HIS HAND!  GLORY!  What God has planned is going to be so amazing - because the enemy sure has been trying to intimidate me.  But, the Holy Spirit is our helper and God is our protector!!  We are so blessed to be His beloved.