This is a personal testimony and I have been under the care of a qualified, knowledgeable doctor. Caring suggestions have been taken to heart and acted upon. My heart has ached when criticisms and judgments have come - even well intended ones. This actually probably started many years ago - but surfaced and put me on a new journey to health with the very scary experience that I wrote about in this blog on June 10, 2011, titled "God's Power and Faithfulness".
************
I declared war today and decided to use acidic water (vs. regular) to mix with apple cider vinegar to soak a rag and accompany my trusty old fashioned hot water bottle to apply warm moist heat to the war-ravaged mountain range under my arm. It brings relief to the pain and helps draw out the poisons/toxins that have been hiding out in my body for who knows how many years. It has been 2 months since I took a supplement to rid my body of a particular poison/toxin. My body apparently kicked in to work properly and it has not stopped yet. It has been agony and at times, beyond excruciating.
When the supplement first arrived and I read the indications, thoughts started firing immediately. Is this what had been wrong for so long? I had no idea how or where I would've picked up the poison; but research told me probably from soil. So, was it when I dug up dirt to plant daffodils? It really doesn't matter - all that matters now is that it goes. I had no idea what I was in for - neither did my doctor. When things first started getting out of hand, I thought it was my fault. I had added in another cleanse with the intent of being thorough in my attempt to get healthy. After a weekend of guilt and shame, my doctor assured me that the other cleanse would not have hurt anything - but maybe it had excelled things. I had a choice - to stop and start over later in life - or continue the process now. I decided to stop the cleanse I had added in, but remain on the supplement - determined to not ever have to go through this again. Little did I know, things would get even worse. A few days later, I stopped taking the supplement as well. There was no way I could willingly cause myself more pain. No way. For me - that is a statement in itself. I have a very strong will and a very high pain tolerance. I just could not handle any more.
The doctor offered me a great deal on some treatment that would help. I took him up on the offer, knowing that it was a great deal - even though I knew it would be impossible without a miracle. He prayed with me that day and I started the new treatment immediately. Provision came soon after. It is amazing how God works. I continued on with the treatment - specifically foot baths - to help the detox process along. After about a week of debilitating headaches that would not relent even with Advil and Tylenol, I figured out that they must be detox headaches. This was on top of the other agonizing pain - which was my skin being the exit point for the poisons/toxins. I started using acidic water to draw the poison out as well as heal my skin from the outside. It may sound painful, but it was actually kind of refreshing. I was also taking soaking baths in either epsom salt or apple cider vinegar. It was then that I would speak scripture medicine over my body and pray for healing.
The process of taking care of myself took every bit of energy I had. Darrell kept me stocked with all of the supplies I needed. My boys helped me move pillows back and forth through the day as I switched back and forth from one couch to the other. They cooked a few meals as well - which I thought was outstanding!!! My mom also brought us several meals - which gave all of us a much needed break! My favorite was her candied sweet potatoes. The only place I went for weeks was to see the doctor to do my therapies. I could not sit down and could barely walk. Both of my thighs were affected as well as the back of my legs. I stayed reclined and only got up when I really had to. Driving was torture. A huge blessing was comfortable seats and an automatic transmission!!
On the darkest day, which was pretty pitch black...I was full of fear and feeling totally defeated - ready to give in, give up, and go to the hospital...never mind the fact that it would be way past the last resort! My right leg was so full of poison that I knew I'd be in trouble if I went. For anyone who has never been reamed at the ER - this might be foreign - but I have been and was not looking forward to any second opinions. On the couch, out of energy to fight - or even function, one of the boys handed me the remote before going out to play. At first I turned it down - frustrated. But, listening to a faint little thought (haha), I asked him to find the DayStar channel for me. He did and it just so happened that Joel Osteen's 1/2 hour program was starting. So, for 1/2 an hour, I laid facedown on my couch listening to truth - healing truth from God's Word. Every now and then, I would repeat something. That was the fill-up that I needed. My hope was renewed and my energy to fight and believe was back. I declared war and chose what I thought was a drastic measure to get relief. Epsom salt to wounds - direct. It worked and though I called the bathroom a torture chamber, shed many tears, and sang praises through my tears for about 2 weeks - the poison left and I survived.
The next issue was for my skin to heal. Salt to wound had given the poison a way out, but my skin wasn't so quick to heal and I was still in agony. The doctor added the infrared dome to my therapies. I noticed an immediate difference. After laying under it, I could sit more comfortably and walk a little better. After about a week of the infrared though, I got frustrated again. Though it was helping, the wounds were still not healed, and I was still having difficulty sitting. I started using silver gel and applied it generously - though it is very expensive. We got some unexpected checks in the mail and they covered it. God is faithful!
A few sessions in the infrared sauna were next. Again, the doctor gave me a really good deal. If I had the money, I might still be going - but then again, maybe not - I'm really not sure. Before the sessions, my arm had already broken out - and now, it is almost as bad as my legs were. At first, I thought it was going to heal quicker - but, I thought wrong. I'm so tired of agonizing pain it is ridiculous. 'Ad nauseum' describes it pretty well. I went for a personal prayer/inner healing session last week - trying to hit all the bases - which is where the peace comes in. However, I went forward for prayer today and admitted to being ready to giving up. A sweet sister in Christ prayed with me and encouraged me to never give up - we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies. Grace was also spoken over me. Here's a cool verse I heard later today:
‘Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain! And he shall bring forth the capstone with shouts of “Grace, grace to it!’ Zechariah 4:7
The one before it is pretty awesome too:
So he answered and said to me: “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘ Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts. Zech. 4:6
************
With all of that heavy, I want to share 2 very cool things that have happened in all of this. After almost a month of agony, I received prayer and a word of knowledge at a ministry training meeting. The person praying knew I'd been in a battle for my health, but had no idea what the details were. The prayer: Lord, we ask You to touch her and heal her like only Jesus can. The word of knowledge: I believe your body is being prepared - like when they prepared Jesus' body for burial - your body is being prepared for something - for LIFE not death. A declaration: Authority in every situation. And then: As I stood there, receiving, my legs began to tremble. I prayed, "Lord, I tremble in Your presence" and started thanking Him for His goodness. I just stood there and continued to pray and receive - though I didn't understand completely and it was kind of odd that I felt totally secure in standing even though my legs were trembling. As I drove home that day, I envisioned my legs completely healed and looked forward to removing my bandages to see a miracle! When I didn't, I sighed and said, "Okay, Lord." It would be almost exactly a month later - after enduring even more agony, that I would understand.
Psalm 16:9 in the NIV: Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure... Psalm 16:9 in the NASB: Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will dwell securely.
Imagine my surprise...reading along in my NIV and seeing the word 'tongue' - while hearing 'glory' from the NASB. I don't know that I've ever noticed such a HUGE difference in translation. I wrote 'glory' above 'tongue' in my bible immediately - followed by the definition given for 'rejoices' - to tremble or resonate as a tuning fork does - to vibrate in response! That was followed by: 'When we experience an intimate exchange with God, we resonate the SAME SOUND as Him.' [Yes, the memory of the experience the month before was now at the forefront of my mind.] Add to this the excitement to be sitting under teachings about glory when God had totally planted that in my spirit. I had missed the first 2 teachings and had no idea what they were about - but before I attended the 3rd teaching, I had changed my fb picture to "Everything in me, use it for Your glory!" I absolutely love it when God teaches this way. The fact that I was there for the 3rd teaching was amazing as well. It had been a rough day with pain and I was exhausted. When I woke up from a nap, my friend called and asked if she could bring us dinner. What a blessing! Had it not been for that, I would not have made it to church. My boys kept asking me if we were going - they couldn't believe I said yes. I explained to them that God had blessed us and made a way; and I really needed to go and receive so I would have something to give. I was completely dry - either cussing or singing - with sad emphasis on the former. (poisons/toxins in my emotions too?!)
The other cool thing is that when I went for the personal prayer/inner healing session last week, I closed my eyes while a picture was beautifully formed in my mind. I'm going to attempt to share it. Father God behind me, Jesus on my right, Holy Spirit at my feet and extending up, and like-minded believers on my left. How did I feel? Totally at peace - safe - loved. Now to picture my armor. The first part of armor that I saw was my robe of righteousness (which is purple for royalty, and I'm actually blessed to have been robed and have one). I know that the armor is the breastplate of righteousness - but, the robe covers us first - like underarmor...lol...but, no joke. : ) Then, shoes of peace - belt of truth - shield of faith - sword of the Spirit - helmet of salvation/crown of hope. How did I feel? Safe - armed - protected. Was I constricted in any way? No. I was comfortable and able to rest and breathe as well as able to move and do. (comfort-able just popped out as I was writing...so cool) Oh, and the glory of the Lord is my rear guard came to mind - Father God was behind me! (My friend sent me verses early on and that one really ministered to me and gave me joy!!)
So, back to where I started from... I declared war - but I will remain in peace - armed and protected - safe and loved. I will not give up. God is faithful and He is with me at all times. He will not leave me or forsake me. I am healed by the stripes of Jesus and though I would LOVE to see that miraculously manifest in my body right NOW, I will stand in Christ - knowing that no power of hell and no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand - hoping and praying that this is over very soon - and praising God because He alone is worthy.
Finishing out this post with this beautiful psalm in its entirety ... as its verses have ministered to me many times in my life:
Psalm 16
Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in You. I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord; I have no good besides You.” As for the saints who are in the earth, they are the majestic ones in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who have bartered for another god will be multiplied; I shall not pour out their drink offerings of blood, nor will I take their names upon my lips. The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. I will bless the LORD who has counseled me; Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will dwell securely. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
NASB
No comments:
Post a Comment