This morning, I was wrestling with God about some things. Often, in my time alone with Him, my heart softens. He has a way. His kindness leads to repentance. I acted in obedience to His leading. And then, Wham! What was that? It didn't take long to harden up again. Irritated on the outside...boiling on the inside - not a great way to start the day. I prayed. He reminded me of some things. I told Him I did not want to go there - that I knew He had been before me and I was thankful...but I did not want to go! Being real. Though my soul was resisting; my heart kept seeking Him - constantly going back and forth in the fight between my flesh and my spirit. Understanding came. What He endured was so much more... If we dare to compare - there is no comparison. I chose to release judgment and forgive once again. I received forgiveness as well - not that I'm not already forgiven...but holding on is a problem and letting go is the answer that seems so backwards - so hard. Anyway, the mountain moved and the burden lifted. Thankfully. I really can't imagine how today would have been carrying extra weight. It held enough of it's own.
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