Labels

Why would something so petty make me so mad?  Every now and then, I ask myself this question.  At least I don't ask out loud - like a guy who actually addressed himself as 'SELF' and conversed with himself in public one time...  Kinda freaky!  Okay, back to the subject.  I asked someone if they could do me a favor - spur of the moment thing - no plan.  A few minutes later, I remembered something else I needed - that I had mentioned a little earlier - and asked if they could do that for me too.  The retort was that they knew there was a reason I had asked for the original favor.  I was instantly offended and proceeded to defend my intentions.  The person was joking...but not really...sarcasm is no joke.  The original request was innocent - it wasn't even actually a favor for me.  This other thing was an afterthought - though really important - to me.  You might be reading this and think it sounds really stupid - but, trust me, it was really irritating.  Why though?!  This particular time, the answer was simple.  It was stemming from a lie that had been planted years ago.  A weed that needs to be rooted out and disposed of!

The lie:  You are a manipulator - a person who manipulates.  Manipulate - to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously.

The truth:  That was not and is not who I am!  I was not and am not a manipulator. 

Maybe whatever my behavior exhibited was perceived to have been manipulation.  But, I was young, and it actually had to be explained to me.  It was a label - whether it was meant to be or not - it was.  It was shameful and it hurt.  Going forward, I could see it - and it would happen the same way that I wrote above - by chance - as an afterthought.  I would cringe, knowing that I had no ulterior motive or purposeful intention to manipulate.  I was not sitting around planning ways to be devious.  Today, in my day to day life, I coordinate things so that I can be more productive.  I sometimes get stressed if I have to think about planning - but, it comes naturally to take what's on my plate and divide it up into sections - to get it all taken care of.  I just have to take some quiet time to think it over and it all ends up working out.  It's when I'm on the spot and not able to process it all that I get stressed.

In contrast, there were some labels that used to fit me a little better - though they were actually lies too.

rebellious - defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.

defy - to challenge the power of; resist boldly or openly: to defy parental authority.

resist - to stand firm (against); not yield (to); fight (against).

The good news today is that what the enemy meant for harm - to steal my destiny, kill my dreams, and destroy my life - God has turned for good!  God designed me to be the way that I am.  He knit me together in my mother's womb!  He had good plans for my life, to prosper me [not to harm me] to give me hope and a future.  He knew I would need to have a strong will and be able to stand firm and resist!  As for authority...the god of this world may have authority here for a time...but, I have been translated out of the kingdom of darkness and into the Kingdom of LIGHT!  The Kingdom of God is higher than any other.  When I first discovered that I had authority as an ambassador of Christ, the enemy came along to scare me - and it worked.  I didn't walk in my newfound identity.  BUT...he overplayed his hand - and I have learned some things!  Now I KNOW JESUS and I know peace!  I know God has awesome and amazing plans for me - and not just for me - but for me to further HIS KINGDOM!  GLORY!!

Thank You JESUS.